Airport Security
by Lordoftheghostking28
Summary: Who needs landing gear, anyway?


**Welcome, dear Readers. The reason you opened this FanFic was probably because the title seemed really weird and you wanted an explanation. Well, here you are:**

**THERE IS NONE.**

**The title is exacally how I wanted it to be. The story begins now…**

Ganondorf, Snake, Zelda, Link, Pit, Samus( Zero Suit) Sonic, Fox, Wolf, Falco, Saki, Lyn, Olimar, Kirby, Ness, Lucas, Meta Knight, Shadow, and a Pokémon Trainer named Trevor were packing.

Yes, packing. Because Master Hand was sending them halfway across the galaxy to Earth, where they'll take a airplane to some place.

"I don't understand that guy." Link mumbled, packing socks into a small suitcase.

"Me neither." Zelda agreed, packing a dress. "And what are 'airplanes'?"

"Just the best thing in the universe," Fox said, standing by the door because he was already packed. "you'll love it." A creepy grin spread across his face.

That was about when Lucas ran by, waving what looked suspiciously like one of Samus' bras in the air. "LOOK WHAT I FOUND!"

"I'd rather not." Meta Knight mumbled, catching sight of Snake; who was suddenly interested when two seconds ago he wasn't.

"LUCAS! BRING THAT BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!" Samus tore into the room.

Olimar walked in shortly after that. "I'm ready to go." He squeaked from the ground.

**A/N: Olimar is only about the size of a quarter. Why he's tall in Brawl, I don't know. But he's really only about the size of a quarter in 'real life'. Don't believe me? look it up.**

"Good. That makes one of us." Pit sighed, sitting on his suitcase and attempting to zip it shut.

"Hmmm…should I pack my sword or my bow?" Link wondered.

"How about some brains?" Ganondorf suggested.

"Like _yours_? There's room right next to my lantern!" Link shot him a dirty look.

Samus finally got her article of clothing back and returned to the room down the hall, severely annoyed. "Why did I get dragged here in the first place?"

"We all want to know that." Lyn growled.

That was about when Master Hand somehow materialized into the room. "I hope you're ready to go now." He said.

"As ready as I'll ever be." Pit said, finally managing to shut the suitcase. But ten seconds later it popped open, sending him flying across the room and into the wall and scattering all his white Roman robes everywhere.

"Um…I'll let you have an extra five minuets." Master Hand decided.

**5 MINUETS LATER**…

"_Now_ is everyone ready?" Master Hand asked.

"Yeah." Meta Knight said. Kirby waddled up beside him and somehow managed to give a thumbs up.

And on that note, they deported to the airport.

**AT THE AIRPORT**…

"Ooooh, shiny!" Sonic announced.

"Very shiny." Trevor agreed.

"Too shiny!" Fox looked away from where the sun was hitting the metal railway. "IT BURNZ!"

"Ok, I'll have to leave you all here because I've got some very important things to do." Master Hand said. "But if you have any questions, call me."

And he vanished into thin air again.

"Call him with what exacally?" Ness asked.

"Crap." Snake muttered. "I forgot my phone."

"Either that or you lost it in one of those pockets." Samus rolled her eyes.

The group made their way down the shiny stairs. Surprisingly, there was no one else around. It was very weird.

"Um…quick question," Wolf said. "won't people freak out if they see us?"

"I have a solution!" Trevor pointed to some crates stacked up in a corner. "Look! Doggie carriers!"

"Put me in one of those and there's a great possibility you'll loose limbs," Shadow hissed.

"Are you nuts?" Olimar squeaked. Samus reached down, picked him up and put him on her shoulder.

"Well, it's the only way we'll get through this place in case we run into humans." Trevor shuffled his feet around.

"Who goes in there?" Meta Knight asked, dreading the answer.

"Kirby, you, Sonic, Shadow and Olimar are the only ones who'll fit." Zelda said, sizing up the carriers.

"I object!" Olimar and Meta Knight roared.

"POYO!" Kirby agreed.

"I _dare_ you." Shadow growled.

"Ooooh, shiny!" Sonic said, distracted.

"Would you rather get arrested or something worse?" Ganondorf cracked his knuckles loudly.

"Nope." Olimar slid down Samus' sleeve once he realized it was life or death. Into one of the carriers he went, Kirby followed him. Link shut the door tightly.

"You owe me big time." Meta Knight hissed, going into a second carrier.

"Oh, hey, Sonic, look!" Link took a Rupee out of his pocket and tossed it into a third carrier.

"OOOOH, SHINY!" He dived into it.

Everyone turned to Shadow; who's expression could have made Evil itself bow down and surrender.

"Come on, man. The plane leaves in forty five minuets." Snake said.

**TEN MINUETS OF INCREDIBLY GRAPHIC, VIOLENT VIOLENCE LATER**…

"I hate you." Shadow decided, trying and failing to break his way out. Whoever designed those carriers must have used titanium or something.

"Ok, now that the worse is over, let's go." Ganondorf said.

"Wait, what about us?" Falco asked. "I mean, we're not exacally human."

"Put these on." Zelda handed them thick hoodies, which they quickly put on and pulled the hood up. "Perfect. Now I can't tell."

They then made their way to security.

"Please put all your belongings on the conveyer and step through the metal detector." A security guard guy said in bored tones.

"Live beings are not suppost to go through an X-ray thing like that! We're going to be discovered!" Shadow hissed.

"Shut up. Dogs don't talk." Ganondorf practically threw the carrier onto the conveyer.

"Please step this way, sir." The security guy yawned.

Ganondorf went through and didn't set the thing off.

"Please come this way, ma'am." The guard motioned for Samus to come through the metal detector.

She too went through clean.

"Wait for me." Snake started to follow her, but he set the detector off.

Instantly six guys came running over with metal detector wands.

This is what they found: Three grenades, two guns, six flares, ten cigarettes, brass knuckles, handcuffs, bombs, and a whole arsenal.

"The jerk!" Zelda sighed as one of the guards tackled Snake to the ground and practically sat on him to keep him from getting away.

After Snake was taken away, they continued on with the security.

Link was also arrested. The moron tried to hide the Master Sword in his suitcase under his underwear.

Pit was taken away for questioning on why there were two feathered appendages growing out from his back.

Lucas' GameBoy was confiscated. He was really mad.

Trevor camera broke.

And the whole group was accused of smuggling illegal animals across the border.

**SIXTEEN HOURS LATER**…

Lyn managed to talk their way out of prison and they somehow managed to escape onto an airplane.

"Ok, now what?" Link asked.

"We wait." Lucas said. "Until the plane takes off."

"Wait, takes off?"

"Yeah, we're flying, duh!"

Surprisingly enough, they were the only ones on the plane. "Prepare for takeoff." The pilot said.

"Oh, crap." Zelda hissed as the plane began to go so fast they were all shoved backwards into their seats so hard that they thought their eyes would pop.

"OH MY GAAAAAH!" Link screamed as the plane lifted off from the ground.

**MEANWHILE**…

Meanwhile, under in the baggage area and in the dog carriers, Kirby, Meta Knight Olimar, Sonic and Shadow were not having fun.

"AAAAGH!" Kirby and Olimar screamed as their carrier slammed into Meta Knight's.

"AAAAGH!" Meta Knight screamed as his carrier slammed into Shadow's.

"AAAAGH!" Shadow screamed as his carrier slammed into Sonic's.

"SHINY!" Sonic screamed as the Rupee that Link gave him flew out of the carrier and into the darkness somewhere. "NOOO!"

"OLIMAR! CAN'T YOU GET INSIDE THE LOCK AND OPEN IT?" Meta Knight shouted over the roar of the airplane.

"NO BECAUSE IF I TRIED TO MOVE FROM THIS CARRIER I COULD BE CRUSHED!" Olimar's voice was almost lost in the noise.

"THIS IS CRAP!"

"I KNOW!"

"MY EARS HURT!"

"YOU HAVE EARS?"

"SHUT UP!"

**MEANWHILE**…

Everyone up in the passenger section of the plane were trying not to throw up.

"What's that bag for?" Pit asked.

"For throwing up in." Ganondorf said.

"Pass it here, please. I hate flying."

"Says the kid who can fly."

"Not funny, Ganondork!"

**4.28 HOURS LATER**…

"Thank you for flying 'A Airways'. Have a nice day." The captains said.

"I think that means it's over." Zelda said softly.

"THANK GOD!" Everyone cheered.

They nearly stampeded themselves in their haste to leave the cursed airplane. The landing was so bad it was almost as if the pilot had said, "Pfft. Who needs landing gear anyway?"

Soon they were waiting near baggage claim.

"So now we wait for our bags and pets, right?" Ness asked.

"Yep." Lucas confirmed.

So they waited.

Soon their bags started coming through the little conveyer thing.

"Let me out….someone let me out…please…" Meta Knight groaned.

"You'd better let him out. He's going into shock." Olimar squeaked. "Kirby too."

"What about Shadow and Sonic?" Link asked.

"Ooooh, shiny!" Sonic said.

"Well, I think Shadow died somewhere around the third hour of flight…" Olimar said worriedly. He hopped from Kirby's carrier and ran to Shadow's. "Well, he's either dead or a really good actor."

"Snake, call Master Hand and tell him we're stopping at a hospital before we do anything else. There's a phone over there." Samus pointed.

Snake went over there and picked up the phone, dialing Master Hand's number.

"Hello?" Their boss answered on the third ring.

"We're at our destination…I think." Snake said.

"Where are you right now?" Master Hand asked.

"Sacramento, California."

"_California_?"

"Should I be worried?" Snake facepalmed.

"You're suppost to be in Washington, D.C.!"

"Is that far from here?" Snake asked.

"It's on the other side of the freaking continent!"

"…is that bad?"

"VERY. Get on the next flight to D.C.. Snake? Snake, hello? SNAAAAAKE!"

Snake slumped dead away in a faint. Samus had to slap him ten times to revive him.

"What happened?" She demanded.

"We…we….we…" Snake managed to whimper. He burst out in tears. "Get….back….on plane….flying…"

Samus paled.

"Don't tell me…" Pit began to turn green.

"Sorry. We're going back." Ganondorf grabbed his suitcase and Kirby's carrier and turned back towards the airplane.

"POOOYOOOO!" Kirby wailed, saying something along the lines of, 'NOO, PLEASE!'

"Curse you, airport!" Link cursed the airport.

Sadly, they were forced back onto the airplane. To endure another terrible flight.

**THE END.**

**This is based on my terrible adventure at an airport. Only no one was arrested. The airplane was **_**terrible**_**. The landing nearly broke my neck.**

**No flames.**

**Hasta la vista, Readers!**

**Lordoftheghostking28**


End file.
